Go Bad and Go Big

"WHY?" I ask you, "Why?" I was bad, REALLY bad, at lunch yesterday. I wasn't feeling very good; I had a sore throat, just felt generally icky, and was having an incredibly hard time staying awake. I blame running outside and "sucking up" (in my dad's words) allergens, because the sore throat kicked in shortly after my run on Tuesday. Anyways, when I don't feel good, my willpower is zilch. And I guess I have this idea that eating food will make me feel better. Does it? Hell no. And after eating a small square of lasagna I felt even worse. Not only did I have a sore throat and my ever-present headache, but also I could feel the "bad" food just sitting in my stomach. If that food could talk, it'd probably say something along the lines of "F' you!", "Gotchya!", and You're gonna suffer now!" That was one of those decisions that, as soon as I finished eating it (and even slightly before I finished), I thought I really wish I hadn't done that. I wish I could take that back. That was stupid. But I can't undo it. Ctrl-Z does me no good. (Did you know that Ctrl-Y is "re-do"?) There's no way to take it back aside from sticking a finger down my throat to make myself throw up. And I don't do that. Nor does it work on me anyways. I've tried in the past when I've accidentally eaten something with shrimp/shellfish in it, and apparently my gag reflex isn't strong enough.

So sadly, I got the spend the afternoon suffering through a sore throat, achy body, and angry tummy. If it wouldn't have drawn attention, I probably would have smashed my head on the desk a few times for being so idiotic. And do you want to know what the worst part was?? The food wasn't even that good. Stupid catered food from lunch meetings. If only my fellow Paleo-ish buddy (BA) was around to smack some sense into me before I ate anything. I must remember that if I'm going to slip up, I might as well do it at a fancy restaurant with high quality food, or at home, where I know the food is going to taste good and I know what went into the meal, like homemade pasta using my nifty pasta maker. Why do I make such stupid decisions???

In response to my bad decision, I made a Paleo version of lasagna. Now most of you probably think that I'd substitute the lasagna noodles with eggplant, but you're wrong. I hate eggplant. I've tried to like it in the past, but no matter how many times I've tried it, I can never finish the dish. Since going Paleo, a lot of my taste preferences have changed, but eggplant is not one of those. Instead of eggplant "noodles," I used sweet potatoes.

Paleo Lasagna

(prep steps are color-coded)

1/2 lb chicken, in strips or cubed

1 1/2 tsp lemon juice

1/2 tsp oregano

1/2 tsp basil

1/4 tsp pepper

1 link of all-natural sausage

2 large sweet potatoes, peeled and thinly sliced lengthwise (say hello to the mandoline)

1/2 cup canned coconut milk

1 acorn squash, cubed
1 1/2 Tbls olive oil
2 Tbls olive oil

1 1/2 yellow onion

2 large cloves garlic, thinly sliced or minced

1 tsp oregano

1/4 tsp cayenne pepper

1/2 tsp garlic salt

1/2 tsp pepper
1/2 cup artichoke hearts

1 1/2 cup sliced mushrooms

2/3 red pepper, sliced

3/4 cup cherry tomatoes, quartered

3/4 jalapeno, thinly sliced

Mix the purple ingredients in a ziploc bag and marinade the chicken for 2+ hours. After the chicken is chillin' in the fridge, prep your blue ingredients.

Preheat the oven to 400F. Pull out that acorn squash and remove the outer shell and the seeds. Chop the acorn squash into bite size pieces. Pull out a large square of tin foil and put the squash into the tinfoil, drizzling with 1 1/2 Tbls of olive oil and seasoning with salt and pepper. Fold the tinfoil over the squash and put in the oven on 400F for ~30-40 minutes.


Heat 2 Tbls olive oil in a pan over medium-low heat to start cooking the green ingredients. Once hot, add the onions and garlic, cooking until onions are translucent. While cooking the onions, season with salt and pepper. Add the peppers, acorn squash, jalapeno, oregano, cayenne pepper, and 1/4 tsp garlic salt, cooking for another 10 minutes.  Mix in the mushrooms, artichokes, and cherry tomatoes. Cook for another 10 minutes. All of your veggies should be soft at this point. In a bowl, mix your coconut milk with 1/4 tsp of garlic salt, and a few shakes of salt and pepper.

Lower your oven from 400F to 375F. And it's time to start layering. Grab an 8"x8" pan and grease the pan (I used a little EVOO). Begin by spreading a layer of sweet potatoes. Overlap the edges of the slices. Next layer is your veggies, followed by the acorn squash, and then your meat. Repeat until you run out of ingredients (I got two sets in). Top with a layer of sweet potatoes. Pour the coconut milk over. So for you visual learners, out there:

Coconut Milk

Sweet Potato

Purple
Blue

Green

Sweet Potato

Purple
Blue

Green

Sweet Potato

Cover your pan with tin foil and place in the oven. Bake for 40 minutes. Check to see if the sweet potatoes are fully baked. If not, cook longer, checking every 5 minutes until they are ready. Remove from oven and let cool for 10-15 minutes before serving.