Fried Rice

4 out of my last 5 posts were for pumpkin recipes. Yeah, I'm having a love affair with pumpkin. Don't judge. It's a seasonal tryst, though apparently this one has decided to last a while longer. Alas, I can't seem to be upset about it. Maybe you're tired of pumpkin recipes? To which I reply, how?? Anyways, in the spirit of mixing things up and trying something different because even I can get bored with eating stuffed pumpkin for days, I made fried rice last night. I know, I know, you're thinking I'm crazy. Rice is a grain and is therefore not Paleo. You're right, which is why I made "rice." I probably should have led with the quotations. Technically, it's cauliflower, but it looks like rice... and it's yummy.

Cauliflower "Rice"

1 head cauliflower, broken into pieces

1 Tbls coconut oil

Place the cauliflower into your food processor. Turn on and process until the cauliflower is now in rice-size pieces. Heat coconut oil over medium heat on the stove. Once hot, transfer your "rice" to the pan and cook for 5-10 minutes. Done. Enjoy that rice.

Fried "Rice"

Cauliflower rice

1/2 onion, chopped

1 Tbls coconut oil

2 eggs

1 tsp sesame oil

3/4 tsp rice vinegar (apparently it's okay according to Whole30 guidelines)

2 tsp coconut aminos

1/4 tsp ground ginger

salt and pepper to taste

Heat coconut oil in a pan over medium heat. Once hot, add the chopped onion, a few shakes/twists of salt and pepper, and cook for ~4 minutes. Whisk two eggs in a bowl (or you can crack them straight into the pan and just stir the daylights out of the eggs and onions, but then you risk eating bits of eggshell). When the egg is almost completely scrambled, add in your seasonings, mixing thoroughly. Because your "rice" has already been cooked, toss this in after your eggs and onion are done cooking and you've found your ideal flavors. (Yes, I encourage you to play with the proportions a bit. You may not have the same taste preferences as I do.) Stir for another couple minutes and then transfer the "rice" to a bowl, plate, mug, or whatever you choose to eat out of. Now devour that rice.

Sadly (or fortunately), I was so overwhelmed by the deliciousness of the fried rice that I forgot to take a picture before I demolished it. So I'll post a photo once I make it again. I also intend on adding some greens, like broccoli or kale.

As a side note regarding table manners... I know a few people who will immediately add salt and pepper to their food without even tasting it first. Etiquette faux pas. It is considered very rude for you to add seasonings to a dish without trying it first, especially if this meal was cooked for you by a dinner host/hostess. Sure the chef at a restaurant may take offense that you messed with his masterpiece, but most likely he or she isn't your friend or loved one.